I still think about what I want to be when I grow up.

Like many, I recently chose to take a break to re-evaluate what I want to do. I know myself and I'm not happy with what I'm accomplishing unless I'm giving everything I have. The only way I could take enough time to self reflect, was by taking a break.

I'm sharing this story in hopes that it can help others that find themselves wondering the same kinds of things.

I went into this break with one goal - run the entire IT department (or BT as I prefer - see that post for more) for a decent sized organization. I've led several departments within IT, built and transformed teams throughout my career, with nearly every facet of IT being covered, but I'd never led all of it at once. The ability to drive enterprise strategy at the executive table while being able to harness the entire team towards the strategic goals of an organization that I believe in, is very motivating to me.

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Self Reflection

As I was looking for the right org and the right role, I started to see a number of LinkedIn posts on Ikigai that helped me realize I should reflect on what made me happy, not just what my career goals are.

I started by thinking about what type of accomplishments made me proud. Those were:

• When I was able to help the organization accelerate by improving how something works. I received far more gratification from implementing business systems that have sustained continuous value vs technology systems that have shorter lives. Things like Empowered Governance, Risk Models, Strategy to Execution, DevOps, Product Management and Services Based Operating Models.

• When I could see Continuous Improvement in all its forms, as a result of the team's hard work: people improving, processes improving, technology improving, but most of all business systems and customer facing services improving.

• When I could see Business and Technology leaders coming together to truly own the evolution of strategic areas, tactical areas, products, etc.

I realized that the happiest moments in my career were whenever:

• I was approached by C levels to provide them advice in confidence. This hit me in two very important personal core value traits - Integrity and Capability.

• I was approached by high potential employees at all levels across the business to help mentor them on very diverse topics. This hit me in the areas of Capability and Trust.

• I was thanked by someone for helping them grow. When I left my last role, the dozens of reach outs from people across the business simply thanking me for the time was shocking. As an introvert that gets most motivation internally, I was shocked at the effect it had on me.

I then thought about what gets me energized and motivated. The times I lost track of the hours.

• When I'm able to do strategic thinking, where one needs to hold significant amounts of diverse information in ones head and rapidly connect the dots, to see opportunity. The opportunity to innovate and create new value.

• When I'm not held back and can go all in on something. When I have someone's complete trust, that I'm capable and will deliver a high quality product, quickly.

• When I feel valuable (the happy and proud moments).

The Negative Doesn't Help

I also took the time to reflect on the negative, which was a short path. I found that what frustrated me the most were the opposites. e.g. when confidentiality or Integrity is betrayed, when business and technology move apart, when business systems are reset and an organization takes several steps back. From that I knew its best to focus on the positive.

Summary

I still want to lead a department as it encompasses everything I need, while allowing me to maximize my value, however I now know I will get the same satisfaction from continuing to provide valuable consulting to executives and their leaders. Circling back to Ikigai, they check the boxes: (1) what I'm good at, (2) What earns me money, (3) what I love, (4) what the world needs. If you are thinking of a change and don't know where to start, try Ikigai out.